Some Marriage Questions

• How does marital intimacy facilitate oneness in marriage? How can it facilitate our understanding and being closer to God? How can we know what is appropriate and healthy in our marriage? Come prepared to discuss.

Marital intimacy facilitates our understanding and being closer to God because it is “divinely appointed,” and it is a “sacred power.”  God had commanded us to multiply and replenish the earth.  Along with that, the power of procreation brings oneness in marriage, through feelings of: acceptance, trust, and understanding one another. We can know what is appropriate and healthy in our marriage through our closeness to the Lord and our spouse.

• Suppose a classmate states his or her understanding that “the Proclamation says that women should be in charge of parenting because she is the nurturing in the family”, and that “men are to make final decisions in the home, because he is called to preside.” How might you help to clarify what the Proclamation actually teaches on those matters? State it as you might if you were speaking to that person, rather than about that person’s comments.

To this person I would say:  that the proclamation does state, a mother’s primary responsibility is to nurture the children and that the father is to preside in love and righteousness, and to provide the necessities and safety for the family.  Nurturing is not the only aspect of parenting.  The proclamation states that “fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”  This does not mean that one spouse has more “say or power” than the other.  Meaning a final decision in the home is made by both the father and mother in unity and equality.  

• In his book, Counseling with Our Councils, Elder Ballard stated that after his first presentation on the issue in General Conference a great deal of attention was paid to the counsel method. Yet “without exception” each of the ward and stake leaders who sought to demonstrate their use of the method took over the process, stated what he believed the resolution to be, and began delegating. How might similar problems arise in marital counsels, and what might we do to counter those tendencies?

Similar problems might arise in marital counsel from one spouse dominating over the other.  If a family is patterned in love and righteousness this will counter those tendencies.